Actually, who am I kidding. I'm actually pretty happy. This life I'm living right now is so new and unexpected and fresh. I have so much time and freedom to go out and do what I want. I've lost people on the recent path I was taking, and although I miss them, I can't go back anymore and try to fix what is broken. I've hurt them, I've said my apologies, and that's all I can do. I cannot please everyone, because in the end someone gets hurt and I'll go insane. I guess it took some losing to realize this fact, so now here I am, focusing on how I really feel and what I want to do, and I am absolutely happily overwhelmed by all the possibilities I have.
Ending a relationship is never easy. Someone always falls out of love first, then has to be the bad guy and follow their heart. I've always been this person, and it's a curse. I can't apologize for how I feel, and I won't. I can't help what I feel, so that is how it goes. I'm not angry or going to play "I hate my ex" card, because that's not how it was! After seeing some things they posted, I guess we weren't as mature as I thought, which completely solidifies my choice even more. I'm hitting a different road and won't take someone with me when it isn't their calling. We were meant to do different things with our lives, so it had to be done.
After not blogging for so many days, I feel so rusty and unable to put my thoughts out clearly. Then again, I am still in my pajamas at 3:00 pm and all I've done is watch old Adventure Time episodes, went window shopping online, and ate some nasty ramen with the intentions to get caught up on readings. HA.
I haven't been taking as many photos as I'd have liked to, but I did get my film developed from my Holga camera recently! I might have said something about that in an earlier post (if I didn't, I am now!), so here are some of my favorites (and the ones that actually came out...).
|My absolute favorite spot on campus.|
|Sample Gates at dusk.|
|Art store Pygmalion's. CATS LIVE IN HERE.|
|Kirkwood from a bug's eye view.|
|Sample Gates at sunset.|
|My bff Reira lookin' all pretty.|